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“You want to keep the texting light, playful and short-lived before the first date,” Hoffman tells Elite Daily. Because texting creates a false sense of intimacy that may lead to oversharing, since “when you are getting to know someone over text, you inevitably end up sharing things that you would never say face-to-face.”In my experience, the longer you draw out the pre-texting, the less likely you actually end up connecting in real life.But as online dating expert Julie Spira explains, it can often just be because online dating is a numbers game."If you're worried about your safety, have an afternoon date and have a friend check in with you or tell them where you will be and that you'll text them when you're home."Hoffman, on the other hand, does encourage reaching out by phone prior to meeting.“I’m a big fan of the brief pre-date phone call," she says.Texting builds an almost intimate bond that can sometimes make it harder to meet face-to-face, because now your meeting is fraught and full of high stakes.That being said, you should do some pre-date texting to check for deal-breakers, and more importantly, for safety reasons.So, the question is, how long to text before having a first date is the right amount of time?Is it better to move quickly into the first date, or should you take it slow and really get to know as much as you can about the person via text before meeting face to face?
If you don't, maybe someone else will, and life is too short to be filled with regrets.” Agreed.
You want to meet in person as quickly as possible because some people can have great texting chemistry but then aren't attracted to the person.” Online dating coach and relationship expert Damona Hoffman agrees.
When it comes to moving from texting to the first date, the sooner the better.
“Knowing their favorite band, what they studied in school, or where they’ve traveled to are light and easy subjects for a chat," says Spira.
"Asking how their day is going shows you care." Despite feeling like texting is a medium, Spira warns that it's an illusion.