Office dating jokes
She asks what's wrong, and the kids reply that aunt Sally was in the house naked.
So she goes to her bedroom to investigate, and she finds her husband lying on the bed naked and sweaty. " He replies, "I'm having a heart attack." She says "I'm going to call 911, while I'm really looking for my sister." She discovers the aunt in the bathroom closet in the nude, and gives her a slap, "How dare you! Pete stops dancing & says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor." [to attract her] A man goes to see a wizard and says, "Can you lift a curse that a priest put on me years ago?
From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two.
About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!
My husband is having a heart attack and you're running around scaring the kids! He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. " "Maybe," says the wizard, "Can remember the exact words of the curse?
" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. " The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?