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So we asked ourselves: why are ladies — in particular, straight women — less likely to spark a conversation? The number of messages received doesn’t affect how many messages women send out.
At first, we thought that women could be more passive because they get a lot of attention. Even if a woman receives zero, 10 or 20 messages, she’s not likely to send more.
Let’s break that down: based on what we know, if you’re a woman and receive a message, the man who sent it is about 5 percentile points Those sending the first message are already getting results.
If all women sent more messages, would they get more responses?
To put a number on it, men are reaching out to women 17 percentile points more attractive, and women contact men who are 10 percentile points more attractive.
This means that if a woman does nothing, her inbox will be filled with less attractive men. In fact, women are 2.5x more likely to get a response than men if they initiate.
Are they more likely to reach out because they’re more particular about what they want? Generally speaking: young or old, your outboxes are empty.
Most women on Ok Cupid are still waiting to be messaged, which means they’re settling and not even realizing it.
If you’ve ever dated anyone, you know that dating inherently (er, ideally) involves people with a mutual interest in each other.
But to get things started, someone has to make the first move.
You should message men you find attractive — not just because they’re easy on the eye, but because you’re more likely to have something to talk about. As for men, it’s worth noting that they’ll probably enjoy getting more messages.
A little history…I’m 28, divorced with two young kids, they live at home. He’s relatively attractive but not my usual type or taste. When there’s a rare exception to that rule, we call it love.