Building godly dating relationships
Perhaps both of you are active in the same campus ministry, you go to the same church.Over time, maybe you take some of the same classes, live near one another, etc.They see each other every day, are with each other’s families every holiday (and often know their partner’s family as well as any son or daughter-in-law does), they travel together, spend most of their non-working (or studying) time together, they daily confide in one another (and maybe one another), and are without doubt, closer emotionally with one another than with anyone else on the planet.This is exactly the level of intimacy that is reserved for marriage only and that dating couples should make every effort to restrain until the appropriate time.I don’t know whether you’ve noticed this, but people involved in a dating relationship tend to get to know each other better over the course of that relationship.
I discuss this principle more fully in “Principles for Drawing Boundaries” and “What Does a Biblical Relationship Look Like?
In that context, living with the desires I’ve just described, how likely do you think it is that over the course of two or three or four years — some couples date over most of their college years — you will be able to maintain enough emotional discipline and distance to avoid acting emotionally and relationally “married”?
I’ve spoken to numerous “long-dating” couples, in college and beyond, who other than living together, could do little to intertwine their lives any more than they already are.
This is why it is so important to only date or consider marrying someone that truly knows and loves God. You want to be the best version of yourself and the other person wants you to be the best version of you.
They can see your potential, and even your hidden talents, and they can help draw them out. If you cannot be honest in your relationship, there could be trouble ahead, especially if this is as a result of fear.